Providence Journal / Kris Craig

I ran around newspaper food sections last night, looking for what's new for Christmas dinner this year. If alien anthropologists are studying earthlings through these recipes, they think we're feasting on towering plates of cookies prepared according to instructions volunteered by readers.

We're not.

There are meat pies and Mexican rice and chicken breasts in this mix, alongside roasts and pork, veal, goose and vegan recipes. Many lean towards frugal, one flaunts its use of eight pounds of butter. Let's start with the night before Christmas...

Christmas Eve: Seven Fishes

The Boston Globe -- bless 'em -- tackled the Feast of seven fishes with these recipes:

Baccala salad
Fried smelts with blood orange and fennel salad
Grilled shrimp in roasted red pepper vinaigrette
Octopus, chick pea, and escarole soup
Spaghetti with calamari
White anchovy crostini
Wood-grilled eel with balsamic and mint

CBS News offers a different version, for under $80 (Italian Christmas Eve Feast, On A Budget). If you're counting, there are four varieties of shellfish in the linguine:

Baccala Salad
Baked Clams
Sicilian-Style Swordfish
Collard Greens and Cannellini Beans
Seafood Linguine
Affogato

Affogato is espresso poured over vanilla ice cream.

There's an abbreviated version of the feast -- two recipes -- at the Wilmington (Del.) News: Christmas Eve menu is all about fish, fish and fish. The recipes: Shrimp And Cannellini Bean Bruschetta and Crab Roll-Ups.

The Seattle Times serves up a piece of the Feast, too: Vongole Ripieni (Baked Stuffed Clams with Toasted Parmesan Bread Crumbs).

The Freep contributes a Scampi course.

Survey courses

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette's priorities are clear: Recipes: Flaming Rum Punch; Eggnog; Standing Beef Rib Roast with Yorkshire Pudding; Plum Pudding.

From The Richmond, Va., Times Dispatch, 12 Holiday Cocktails and Recipes For Your Christmas Holiday, with all the basics: Seafood Lasagne, Holiday Ham, Tenderloin of Beef...

On the holiday table, give tradition a twist. Scripps Howard delivers Beef Tenderloin With Wild Rice Pilaf and Holiday Ale Sauce, Garlic and Walnut Crusted Chicken With Roasted Brussels Sprouts and Pomegranate Seeds, and Veal Cutlets With Shiitake Mushroom and Tomato Sauce

Tucson, they're going all Dickens: Add a British twist to this year's Christmas spread. The recipes:

Roasted Prime Rib Eye With Creamed Spinach, Glazed Carrots, Turnips And Garlic Confit Yorkshire Pudding
Chicory Salad With Honey Vinaigrette, Stilton Cheese, Croutons And Pomegranate Seeds
Butterscotch Pudding

The Chicago Daily Herald is Fired up over chestnuts: Chestnut and Parsnip Soup, Bacon-wrapped Duck Breast Stuffed with Apples and Roasted Apples, Chocolate Chestnut Soup and Apple Chestnut Mini Muffins.

Christmas, in a nutshell at the Chicago Tribune goes nuts with the crunchy theme:

Bitter greens with tamari roasted walnuts, cherries and blue cheese
Vidalia onions stuffed with sausage and pecans
Hazelnut brownie torte with espresso and goat cheesecake topping
Glazed duck with pistachios and clementine sauce

Archives of previous holiday recipes such as Christmas recipes from The New York Times archives, Atlanta's AJC Christmas recipes, and even this blog's earlier tours of Thanksgiving Food sections (here be turkey recipes, too) offer a more-than-you-can-eat buffet.

Frugal is relative

At Detroit News, it's Mexican Fried Rice for Christmas Eve.

AP: Savory pork and apple pie is inexpensive to serve. It's a touriere, "based on the sumptuous meat pies served during the holidays in Quebec."

Denver Post budgets A Hundred Dollar Holiday meal for six, and 40 percent of the cost is for wine:

Wine six for less than $40
Rib Roast of Pork
Winter Watercress Soup
Brussels Sprouts with Chopped Almonds
Baked Barley with Squash and Shallots
Stewed Fruit with Thyme
Braised Red Cabbage with Apples and Oranges
Almond Brown-Butter Cake with Ginger Syrup and Sugar-Fried Pears

Vegetable

In Pittsburg, Kansas, they're eating Spectacular Marsala Glazed Carrots With Hazelnuts:

PITTSBURG --This incredible carrot dish is like no other you've ever tasted! Elegant for any holiday or special occasion, yet easy enough for any day of the week. Please DO NOT omit the Marsala wine as it makes this dish taste spectacular...

The (Colo.) Daily Camera goes Meatless in Boulder: Cheese tart makes holiday centerpiece. The tart is called Belgian Leek Tart with Aged Goat Cheese:

While this recipe is really just glorified quiche -- the glorified part is the key concept. With excellent cheese and silky leeks, it's the kind of rustic dish with simple flavors that will please everyone. And it's a dish that can be presented at the table with a flourish before everyone digs in.

Sweet Potato Bourbon Soup sounds inspired; from WaPo. Bourbon is a vegetable, isn't it?

For vegans, from the Louisville, Ky., Courier Journal: Winter squash casserole with roasted onions and chestnuts.

And, from the Raleigh (N.C.) News-Observer, Vegan Cassoulet.

Pork & goose

AP moved recipes for Peppercorn-And-Thyme-Roasted Goose and Steamed Plum Pudding, and the Daytona Beach, Fla., News-Journal headlined them Goose at celebration's Victorian roots.

The New York Times also does a simple Roast Goose With Potatoes.

More goose: Holiday Goose with Wild Rice and Fruit Stuffing from the Ventura County (Calif.) Star.

At the Shreveport (La.) Times, Marlyn Monette's Cajun Christmas recipes lead with Crown Pork Roast and Rice Stuffing.

The Redding (Calif.) Record Searchlight offers Wild Mushroom-Stuffed Pork Tenderloin with Honey Bourbon Mustard Sauce with four types of mushrooms.

Accessories

The Corvallis Ore. Gazette Times is Baking up a New England tradition -- brown bread. Go figger.

In our date-pecan version, cornmeal is used, but all-purpose flour replaces rye flour. The loaf is sweetened with molasses and sugar, which even if available, would have been too pricey for most Colonial cooks. And instead of steaming it in a can over boiling water, we've taken the easy way and baked it in a loaf pan. No doubt the Puritans would love it.

Seacoast Today, from Portsmouth, N.H.: Let's get ready to rum ball!.

Mocha Pots de Creme from the San Francisco Chronicle sounds like a dessert worth making.

Edible Fruitcake at the St. Louis Post Dispatch is made with dried fruit rather than the traditional (awful) candied cubes. At your own risk.

The strange

Finally, I don't think this is a joke, but my family would laugh if I suggested it: Beef tenderloin with black cherry-chocolate sauce and white chocolate mashed potatoes. Chicago again, the Sun-Times this time. They're over the top there.

This isn't a joke, either. It's also from the San Francisco Chronicle: Olive Oil Ice Cream With Candied Fennel

The Washington Post, with a straight face, touts Butter-Poached Standing Rib Roast. It calls for eight pounds of clarified unsalted butter, "which should remain at 165 degrees" while poaching the meat.

Tampa Bay Online publishes the winners of an annual Fruitcake Haiku Contest. The poetry is on about the same level as... fruitcake.